Creation

From an empty room to an another, in the silent corner of my mind,
I stand in the blinding light, afraid to open my eyes...
-20th of June 1992, midday on the corner of 34th and Park, New York City

I can trace back the moment it all began - the urge to write; to create something immaterial. I still remember in the most vivid detail the pandemonium which is the heart of Manhattan.
Lately I have been visiting the absolute origins of the linear path which has lead to the current. The "past" holds no sentimental value to me whatsoever. I look back in order to see if I understood my choices correctly.

It has been stated the there is no actual past, nor future. There is only now. That could considered to be true in the sense of the fact that thoughts themselves are not necessarily bound to time. The perception and sense of time are derived from multiple gravity vectors originating in the heart of our galaxy. These vectors are perceived by human senses, and are therefore simply nothing but multiple electrical signals interpreted by the brain. In much shorter words: the perception of time is dependent on outside impulse entirely. Time would be, in itself, an emergent phenomenon found between two extremes of certain mass/velocity -scale, and might not actual exist outside those conditions at all.

However, I firmly believe that every responsible being in the four-dimensional space-time continuum is a product of choice. Choices cannot be made in a massive timeless cluster without causality, and one cannot, of course, alter the premise of the immediate surroundings upon entering this world. Hence, the word "responsible" in the beginning of this paragraph. I deeply resent any fatalistic ideas of destiny, and the supposed grander scheme of things. Human existence is deeply flawed and chaotic. In my humble view, one can only derive any sense meaning or reason, by applying responsibility and understanding causality. By causality, I simply mean, deeper understanding of one's own choices, and the reactions they create. To be awake and to be aware, and then to understand what the aforementioned actually means.

That would be something like seeing past one's own choices. Things do not just happen. Get over it.

March

Martius "of Mars",

the original beginning of the year, and the time for the resumption of war.

How appropriate.

Absorbing (Redux II)

Listening:
- Danny Vaughn: "Traveller"
- Porcupine Tree: "The Incident"
- Opeth: "Blackwater Park"
- Opeth: "Ghost Reveries"
- TransAtlantic: "Whirlwind"
- Devin Townsend Project: "Ki"
- David Sylvian/Robert Fripp: "Damage"
- David Sylvian/Robert Fripp: "The First Day"

Reading:
- the local newspaper
- Bill Hicks: "Love All The People"

Watching:
- the not-so-gently falling snow
- BBC: "Top Gear"